A few years ago, I was privileged to serve as Youth Pastor in Bridgeport, Connecticut, where I facilitated an eight week “Keeping It Real” (KIR) curriculum to approximately thirty youth. One of the defining moments during our time together was a discussion of the term “sexuality” and how to have a more holistic perspective about it. For many of the youth, through no fault of their own, their understanding of sexuality had been limited to the act itself. Through the curriculum and after much dialogue, they began to remove the limitations that often were conveyed by friends, parents, the media, music, marketing and…the church.
Why is this important? When made aware of a broader perspective on sexuality, many of our youth began to have ‘flashback’ memories. That is to say, they began to see where they had missed the mark. As one youth remarked, “Hindsight is 20/20. If I knew then what I know now I would have seen the signs that led me to make unwise decisions.”Although the tide, I believe, is turning, the Black Church has historically been relatively silent when it comes to matters of sex and sexuality. Perhaps this is an oversimplification, but the Black community as a whole has been relatively silent on these matters. Therefore, it would make sense to deduce that because Black Church constituents are members of the community, the Black Church then is merely a reflection of such.

Only recently have selected Black churches taken on the subject of sex and sexuality; however, oftentimes it is not by choice! Rather, because of pressing health and societal concerns, certain Black churches have made it a point to respond to the challenging concerns of the time. In a study of the Black Church in America, C. Eric Lincoln and Lawrence Mamiya discuss the progressive nature of some Black churches in the early 90’s. “In Durham, NC, the Church Connection Project involves six churches in health care, including birth control for teenage women…Seminars on controversial topics like the AIDS crisis or sexually transmitted diseases are held.”

When we look at our churches today, we often hear the expression, “Our youth are our future.” I believe this sentiment with every fiber of my being. Because this is the case, the church must continuously labor to have a message that is real, relevant, and radical. This must be the case if the Black Church desires to keep young people interested and connected. Although there are some churches in the community attempting to accomplish this, more are desperately needed.
On October 29, 2011, in Houston, TX, the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice (RCRC) and the Black Church Initiative (BCI) partnered together to assist African American clergy and laity in addressing teen childbearing, sexuality education, unintended pregnancies, and other reproductive health issues within the context of African American culture and religion. I had the privilege of facilitating a rap session that included delicate matters such as gender stereotypes, self-respect for both genders, and abuse of power. Initially, many of the youth felt uncomfortable because, as was expressed early on in the session, “We’re not allowed to talk about the nasty.” Actually, the BCI seeks to talk about the “nasty” in a way that is healthy and holistic in order to bring about responsible decision-making. The youth were engaged and tremendously benefited from the video that was shown, other facilitators, and a motivational speaker. The youth from various churches shared from their souls because an environment was set where they felt safe to be themselves. I challenge you to do the same. Create an atmosphere where our youth can be themselves and dialogue about a wonderful subject that is at the core of who we all are!

My name is Rev. Aleese Moore-Orbih. I have over 20 years of experience in Pastoral leadership, Women’s Spiritual Discipleship and Direction and 10 years of experience in family violence advocacy and leadership training. Most importantly, I am a Black Christian woman who loves our African American communities and churches.

Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

Okay, what really breaks my heart about domestic violence, beyond the 4 million women beaten and abused and the average of three women murdered by their husbands and boyfriends every day is its impact on children and youth.
On average, 10 million children experience physical violence in their home every year – including by witnessing it, and trying to stop it. This is the sad and true story of many of you reading this blog. But you probably do not talk about it, not because of shame but because it is so normal that it doesn’t seem worth talking about.
Of the 10 million children exposed to domestic and sexual violence every year, 60% are physically and/or sexually abused by their mother’s abuser. 10% get involved, try to defend their mother, or try to physically stop the violence. This is probably why 40% of the teen and young adult males incarcerated for murder and/or assault committed those crimes against their mother’s abuser.

As an African American daughter, mother and sister, I esteem Black communities and churches, from the poorest to the richest, above all others, in spite of our warts. I also recognize that it is difficult for us to look into the mirror and recognize that the behavior of adults, parents and guardians are the major reason why so many of our children and youth are involved in high-risk behaviors. But it’s real. Research has shown over a number of years these difficult truths:
• Violence in the home is worse than in the community.
• Children are influenced by domestic violence more than television and street violence.
• Children are more intensely affected and the consequences last longer by domestic violence than community violence.
Most of us know that exposure to domestic violence can have a mental, physical, and emotional impact on children and youth. What is not common knowledge is that exposure to high-risk behavior and the health of children and youth are linked. Ten years of research by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) established that multiple adverse childhood experiences or trauma put kids at a higher risk for what the CDC calls “health problems,” which are listed below:
• Alcoholism and alcohol abuse
• Depression
• Illicit drug use
• Risk of intimate partner violence
• Multiple sexual partners
• Sexually transmitted diseases
• Suicide attempts
• Adolescent Unintended pregnancies
• Early initiation of smoking
• Early initiation of sexual activity

Some of us refer to high-risk behavior and “health problems” as normal bad teen behavior and situations. All too often we judge, label, punish and put our kids in a box rather than asking, “What happened to you?” Of course it is easier and takes less time and energy to tell someone what to do than it does to hear their story, stand with them against their unjust experience and walk with them on their journey to healing and wholeness. Certainly that is not the ministry of the Black Church. More than not, kids are just trying to cope and survive the trauma, violence and/or lack of love or care at home. When kids live in an unhealthy and violent environment, it’s very hard not to choose unhealthy coping mechanisms to survive. The truth is in many of our communities the only resources available for kids to cope and survive are unhealthy resources. Many of our pregnant teens are also survivors of abuse and incest. Many runaway teens are running from violent homes. Many gang members are looking for love, respect and acceptance in all the wrong places.
There are no simple answers to these complex and complicated issues. But the conversations must begin if we are going to figure out how to protect the safety and welfare of victims and their children while fostering healthy and safe father-child relationships.
Hebrew Scripture tells us over and over that we are required to care for the most vulnerable in our communities, naming children. Jesus in the Gospels made it quite plain that children are special to God and those who would cause them harm will be held accountable. But Paul took it to a whole new level and named the elephant in the room. Paul made it clear that fathers have powerful influence in the development of their child’s character and emotional and spiritual life. Therefore there are some things fathers should not do.
“I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways. And no message could’ve been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make that change.” MJ.
Rev. Dr. Aleese Moore-Orbih
FrontLine Faith-based Solutions and Consultants
www.FrontLineConsultants.org Revdrmoore@FrontLineConsultants.org Twitter @ revaleese

The first blog will call your attention to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), more specifically Domestic and Situational Violence with the backdrop of the current economic environment. The second blog for the month will provide an understanding of the impact of Domestic and Situational Violence on youth and it’s linkages to juvenile deliquency, disease, disability and early mortality.  Please share your feedback and questions about the issues raised for our communities and the Black Church. We look forward to the dialogue.

 Reverend Dr. Aleese Moore-Orbih

“How Can I Love You If You Tie Up Both My Hands?”                                                              The Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin

It’s 2011 and October is still Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Are we still talking about that in the Black communities? What is up with that? I thought it was understood that we don’t experience domestic violence in our communities. We may fuss and fight when times are extremely hard, but we don’t have domestic violence. Ain’t that right?

October remains Domestic Violence Awareness Month because women are still safer on the streets than in their homes.  In 2011 we are still talking about domestic violence in the Black community because Black women are still murdered at a 2.5% higher rate and experience intimate partner violence at 35% higher rate than White women. We continue to talk about it because African Americans account for almost 1/3 of the intimate partner homicides.  We can’t stop talking about it because the largest population of victims/survivors are African American girls/young women ages 14-24 years. We can’t stop talking about it because more and more Black women are leaving the Black Church and  community because they did not receive the support and protection they needed from their own. We will continue to talk about domestic violence in the Black Church because the church’s mission is to bring the good news of liberation, healing and wholeness to our communities.

Domestic violence or intimate terrorism is a pattern of assaultive and coercive behavior used to maintain power and complete control over an intimate partner. Situational violence is abuse and violence that occurs between intimate partners when situational stressors, i..e., poverty, social issues, and/or medical conditions,  cause disagreement that turns to anger and escalates into violence.  Michael Johnson, Ph. D, stated in his research
that “situational violence can be mild or severe, and although often this is an isolated incident in a relationship, some couples have a recurring pattern of such violence that is
extremely dangerous. Although this type of violence is almost as likely to be
perpetrated by women as by men, men do more serious damage and their violence
is more likely to introduce fear into a relationship and get the authorities involved.” Although domestic and situational violence are technically different, they can have the same impact on the victim, family and community.

But interpersonal violence is not the only type of violence that continues in 2011.  Our communities are still subjected to the constant violence of discrimination, injustice, and
health and economic inequities. While unemployment among the general
population is about 9.1%, it’s 16.2 % for African Americans and even higher forAfrican
American  men specifically. When you connect those realities with the fact that 40% of African American women live below the poverty line and are employed at.62 cents to every dollar that men are paid for the same work, couples could very well be sitting on stress-filled time bombs with short fuses.  Our communal and individual oppression and burdens have the capacity to make us blow a fuse and hurt the ones who love and trust us.

In the Black community we like to think of ourselves as mostly experiencing “situational violence,” not domestic violence. This line of thinking allows us to justify abuse and violence in our families and intimate relationships by blaming the behavior on external pressures.  I believe it’s easier for us, as a community, to think that  the “Devil” or oppression and discrimination makes our Black men harm and murder their wives and
girlfriends than to face up to the facts.

The co-occurrence of stressors like racism, discrimination, substance abuse, and poverty may plague our communities for many more years, maybe generations.  These adversities do not cause a person to become abusive, although they may exacerbate the abusive
behavior.  But when men and boys abuse, brutalize and murder women and girls, they do so out of choice, because they can. Some Black men believe they have the right to be abusive because they have learned, from the dominant culture, that women and women of color specifically, should be controlled and a woman’s submission somehow is a reflection of a man’s masculinity.  These men completely ignore the fact that to quote a Black gay rights and feminist activist, “In a white-racist patriarchal society, the black man may be promised patriarchal power, but the fact that he is both man and black denies him the chance to fully benefit from that promised patriarchal power. Black men may chase patriarchy, but they will always slam into the wall of white supremacy which associates them with ‘other,’ and not man.”  The proof of this statement is in our prisons.

The fact of the matter is, whether it’s situational or domestic violence, the Black community and  Church must collectively address situational and domestic violence and its impact on African American women and girls, communities and families.

How long will we hide the abuse of women and girls behind handicaps of injustice within our community? How long will it be acceptable to cover and protect Black men and boys who abuse and murder Black women and girls? How much longer will women and girls be sacrificed for the injustices Black men experience from mainstream society?

For those of us in leadership ministry, I ask the question another singer posed. Rachelle Farrell penned these words: “How can we heal the wounds of the world if we cannot heal our own? Where does peace on earth begin if not in the home?” My brothas’ and sistahs, can we learn to love one another, more than perceived power, and to hold each other rather than hurt each other through stress and conflict?

This Domestic Violence Awareness Month let us do some deepsoul searching, and practice some self-reflection and collective appreciation.  We are better and stronger
together and, yes, we can end violence and abuse in Black families and intimate
relationships. But it will take all of us.

The following blog was posted previously.

   Minister Lacette Cross

A blossoming womanist theologian in my 2nd year of seminary.  A black woman concerned with the healing of all peoples through the reconciling of sexuality and spirituality.  This blog is a safe space for engaging conversation with people of faith on issues of healthy human sexuality and the intersection of faith-filled living, loving and learning.

The nature of blogging affords me the freedom to find inspiration in what may seem to be unlikely places.  This morning as I was pondering on what to write I perused my twitter account (follow me @Blkbfly_musings) and came across a tweet “Many adults in the dark when it comes to sex ed” and decided to check it out; especially since this is an issue I’m familiar with but rarely see it being discussed.

The article discusses the use of sex toy parties as a means for many adults to learn basic information about their bodies, sexual arousal, intimacy and communication.  The term “sexually illiterate” is used to describe a large portion of the American population who do not participate in sex education during teen years; which means that most of us could very well be viewed as a ‘sexual illiterate’.

Now if someone walked up on you on the street and said, ‘You’re illiterate’ I trust your response would be a very passionate and resounding, ‘No, I’m not!’.  But truth be told being illiterate is more than the inability to read and write it also means “having or demonstrating very little or no education”.  And I know there are a whole lot of sexual illiterates walking around…and I’m talking about the adults not the teenagers!

What role, if any, does the church play in helping shape, develop and produce sexually literate persons who are also spiritually whole?  We are increasingly living in a society which has become obsessed with sex and is more than capable of flooding our TVs, magazines, radios, billboards, and music with sex, sex, sex!  Where do we as women and men of faith go to learn about sex, specifically healthy expressions of sex?  What is preventing the church from being that place where sex and sexuality can be taught, discussed and engaged holistically?

Sexuality is a God-given aspect of our identity; it is the expression of who we are as persons created in the image and likeness of God (checkout Image of God post).  It encompasses sexual behavior, relationships, communication, beliefs, and values.  However, the Black church, through its practices and silence, has given us the unspoken message that the church is not a safe place to question, seek understanding or share in discussing anything related to sexuality thus is complicit in producing sexually illiterate persons.

For many of us the church is that place we come to seek healing and wholeness in our relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  The Black church has historically been a bastion for the healing of racial and social hurts experienced from being black in America.  However, it has lacked in addressing the sexual health of both the congregation and clergy/lay leadership.  The culture of silence regarding healthy sexuality and all that it encompasses will continue to impact the number of sexually illiterate teens and adults.

Even as we commemorate National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day today, the church’s silence continues to ring loudly as the statistics maintain the reality of the disproportionate number of Blacks who are infected and affected by HIV/AIDS.  It could very well be our silence as a church body, a black community, a group of believers that may serve to hinder the full expression of the kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven.  If the Black church is viewed as a place of healing and restoration then all persons – men, women, boys and girls – should be able to come to church with their questions about sex and sexuality.

The time has come for the Black church to deal directly and compassionately with issues of healthy sexuality.  We, the Black Church and community, are in need of open, honest and welcoming opportunities within the church to address issues of intimacy, relationships, sexual behavior, communication and STIs including HIV.  We are also in need of more and more clergy and lay leaders who are ready, willing and able to compassionately and courageously provide safe space for all of us to engage in healthy conversation and receive guidance from theologically sound and medically informed leadership.

As the author of the article reports:

“Everybody has sex, everybody does!  It’s part of what happens in life, and so if you don’t take responsibility and you don’t ask these questions, it’s going to continue to be the ugly elephant in the room.”

We have within our community all we need for healing to take place.  Now is the time to respond…or do we continue to ignore the “ugly elephant in the room.”?

Nelson Jerome Pierce, Jr.

This is the season where many young people are graduating from high school and college, having achieved a major milestone, excited and anxious about the next station in life. Many young people still have not had a caring adult speak with them about navigating the thing that they most think about during these years: love, sex, and relationships. The blogs for BCI this month will be my letters to young women and men as they prepare for their future endeavors. 

I want to congratulate you, my little sister, on your graduation from high school. This is an important and necessary step in your growth and development, and I am very proud that you have taken it successfully. You may or may not have given much thought about what these next few years are going to look like. There are many decisions that you are going to make that will impact the rest of your life. Some decisions you will know, even as you are making them, are life-changing decisions, while you may only realize the major impact of other decisions on your life many years later. One of the biggest decisions you will repeatedly have to make is the decision whether or not to have sex, and if you choose to have sex, with whom and under what circumstances. As you well know, one of the implications of choosing to have sex is the possibility of pregnancy, and it is that which I want to talk to you about today. Pregnancy, at the right time, when you are ready and have a strong support system (that I hope includes a loving, caring, and employed husband) can be a wonderful thing. However, pregnancy when you are unprepared, before you have completed your education and/or become settled into your career, can make life more difficult than you might imagine. The time it takes to care for a child 24/7 can make it difficult to give enough time and energy to completing your education. Not to mention, the expenses incurred while raising a child add up quickly. If you are not financially prepared to deal with the expenses, you can quickly become overwhelmed. I’m sure that this is not new information for you, and it would be foolish and counterproductive to hope that you would live your life in fear of the negative possibilities. So instead, I want to encourage you to take positive steps to keep you on the right track.

Stay Inspired

You have a great mind, which is no surprise to me because God gave it to you. Always remember that intelligence is much more than the facts that you know; it is what you do with those facts. Continue to feed your mind by surrounding yourself with people and things that inspire you. Inspiration feeds your thought process and enhances your creativity, both of which help your decision making process. You have a long cultural heritage of intelligent creative women: Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Ella Baker, Mary McCloud Bethune, Shirley Chisolm and many others. Each of them used their intelligence and creativity to transform the world around them, and the same spirit that they had resides in you.

Stay Connected

As I’m sure you know by now, friendships, romances, and sometimes, even family relationships can come and go. Whether it’s the result of time and distance or people’s changing personalities, relationships change like the seasons, and even though it hurts sometimes, it’s natural. Know that God will put you around the people that you need at the time that you need them. During each of these seasons it is important that you have an older woman whom you trust and can talk to openly about what is happening in your life, whether it is your mother, grandmother, aunt, or mentor. Choose this woman carefully, because the wisdom that she gained from her experiences will be the reservoir from which she will draw to share advice with you. Also keep a pastor, priest, or spiritual guide in your life. This person will share with you spiritual truths that will help you to see what God is doing in your life.

Stay Resilient

Life hardly ever turns out the way we think it will. Sometimes it is much better. Other times it is much worse. During those “worse” times, the worst thing that we can do is to give up. There is nothing that you can do, and nothing that can happen to you that will stop God from loving you. Every day when you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and remind yourself that God loves you. When life becomes complicated or difficult, remember that God will give you the strength you need to make it through the difficult moments.

Nelson Jerome Pierce, Jr. is the Pastor of the Word Fellowship Church in Cincinnati, OH. Friend him on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.

The views, opinions, and perspectives expressed in by guest and consultant bloggers do not necessarily reflect the views of the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, its state affiliates, it member organizations, or the National Black Church Initiative. The Religious Coalition is committed through its National Black Church Initiative to faithfully, prayerfully breaking the silence on issues related to sex, sexuality and religion.

Rev. Antoinette Kemp

Over the past couple of days I have been watching all the commentary given on the President’s speech regarding the Israel-Palestine conflict.  In my opinion, the position that our President has taken is a bold step to move this country forward and to set the wheels of transformation in motion for global justice.  Many people have become distracted by the rhetoric, spending their time and energy talking more about what his statement means for his future as President rather than the essence of the message which is a call to responsible action.  I believe that there ought to be some acknowledgement for President Obama for having the courage to take a stand on a highly contentious issue.  It takes tremendous courage and integrity to publically confront political regimes and special interests in order to take a stand for justice, goodness and righteousness.  Taking a stand for that which is in the interest of all humankind is never an easy thing to do, particularly when it will be unpopular with particular interest group.  Like the President I think it is high time that we, the Black women and men in these United Stated of America take a stand take a risk for something bigger and greater than ourselves.

 It is time to stand in the gap and speak out concerning the state of Black women and reproductive justice. It is time to take a vocal and active stand against the political efforts to continue to govern our decision-making ability from their perceived vantage point.  Our choice to become mothers or how we manage, care for our bodies or understand our sexuality is not their right to control.  I quote my sister Tonya Williams from Sparks for Reproductive Justice Now who says;

“Black women have been at the forefront of all major social justice movements in the United States ranging from abolitionist movement to the civil rights and women’s rights movement to fundamentally transforming the reproductive rights movement.”

It is important that we are reminded of the rich tradition of Black women Civil Rights leaders like Coretta Scott King, Ella Baker, Dorothy Irene Height and Fannie Lou Hamer, who not only believed but exercised their belief by confronting the political regime, standing in the gap and fighting for justice, goodness and righteousness.  Black Women are capable of making critical, personal, and just choices about our bodies, our families, and our communities even under the most hostile social, political and economic circumstances. It is in this tradition that the reproductive justice movement is rooted, and it is in this legacy that we renounce all attempts to vilify and shame the agency, power, and morality of Black women. It is high time that we reconsider our efforts in time and energy spent not to be distracted or side barred by religiosity or fear driven by social and emotional anxiety. Now is the time to be on the move towards a strategy to debunk, dismiss and disallow the right-wing rhetoric by establishing a new narrative worthy of the fullness and dignity of the legacy and future of Black Women and their Reproductive Choice. May all humanity stand up for justice, and may justice roar like a mighty river.

Rev. Antoinette D. Kemp the Georgia Consultant for the National Black Church Initiative and the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice in Washington, DC. She is an ordained minister in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). She earned an MDiv degree from Columbia Theological Seminary, and currently serves as a Corporate/Industrial Chaplain, for Cobb-Vantress, Inc. (a division of Tyson Corporation) Rev. Kemp is the Executive Director for African Pilgrimages Inc.,

Rev. Antoinette Kemp

I don’t know about you, but I’m a dreamer. Sometimes I can be in the middle of something intense and all of a sudden out of somewhere a vision or a dream drops into my spirit.  Now when this happens I try my best to acknowledge its presence and agency in my heart, because God is continuing to give us dreams.

Once I get wind of something, I can dream about it so much until I see it, feel it and know it like the back of my own hand. I can even get to the point where I just might need someone to bring me back to reality! Do you know what I mean? It’s like once God gives you a passion for something, you just can’t seem let it go.

Well, it is often like that for me as it relates to many different topics of humanity and social justice.  When I dream, I often dream of justice.  April is National STD Awareness Month, but it is also Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and in light of that I want to take this opportunity to spread the awareness about Human Trafficking and sexual exploitation.

Human trafficking is a global problem and in America children are being bought and sold for profit and pleasure at alarming rates and the black church needs to step up to the plate and take a serious stand against sexual exploitation. EVERY MINUTE of EVERYDAY women and children are being abused by heartless others who for economic profit or sexual pleasure rob them of their innocence and dignity. I live in the Atlanta, Georgia metro area which ranks as one of the world’s leading cities in the trafficking of women and children, according to Stephanie Davis, executive director of Georgia Women for Change. Every day in this city between 200 to 300 children and teens are on the streets, being sold for sex.  Now considering that over half (61.9%) of the city’s population is African-American, I don’t know why we, as the black church are not speaking up, showing out and organizing efforts to combat this sad reality.

Human trafficking is the fastest-growing criminal industry in the world, with the total annual revenue for trafficking in persons estimated to be between $5 billion and $9 billion. The Council of Europe puts it even higher. Saying that the situation has reached “epidemic proportions over the past decade,” the council puts the global annual market at about $42.5 billion.

An estimated 600,000 to 820,000 men, women, and children [are] trafficked across international borders each year, according to the U.S. State Department. Approximately 70 percent are women and girls, and up to 50 percent are minors.

A report conducted by the University of Pennsylvania noted that anywhere from 100,000 up to 300,000 American children are at risk for commercial sexual exploitation at any given time.  Have fallen asleep at the wheel while Georgia legislators have spent our money and time to pushed through laws to serve the interest of a minority while the safety of our women and children are being hijacked and ignored?  I have a dream, that one day some day, this day….The prophetic voice and the empowered agency of the Black Church will rise to it’s rightful place and live into the call for justice again.  It will no longer be satisfied with living in a vacuum of rhetoric keeping our lives in bondage, but it will be a catalyst for change, justice and peace.

There is simply no excuse; now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God’s children. And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring from the black church, to the Capitol and from the Capitol to the streets and the households, it is then when we let it ring from every village across this land and the world. I dream of JUSTICE!

Rev. Antoinette D. Kemp the Georgia Consultant for the National Black Church Initiative and the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice in Washington, DC. She is an ordained minister in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). She earned an MDiv degree from Columbia Theological Seminary, and currently serves as a Corporate/Industrial Chaplain, for Cobb-Vantress, Inc. (a division of Tyson Corporation) Rev. Kemp is the Executive Director for African Pilgrimages Inc.,

Rev. Penny Willis

The Sin of Silence

This post is more than simply my blog for the series; it is a glimpse into a conversation between God and I, a result of the Holy Spirit working within me.

As I sat in church on Communion Sunday a few weeks ago, thoughts of writing this week’s blog interrupted my concentration on worship. I was expecting God to give me some ideas of what to say. I was hoping God would meet me in the sanctuary of my mind as I sat in the sanctuary of the church house trying to focus on worshipping God with the other saints gathered in that place. I wanted God to give me a way to frame the thoughts that have been on my mind for the last month and that have led to this series, Sexually Transmitted Silence. I was looking for confirmation that my thoughts were Spirit-inspired and indeed God-breathed.  I invite you to read this post with that understanding.

First Sunday at Trinity United Church of Christ is the day we take Communion. Before we engage in the ritual of acknowledging Jesus and his atoning sacrifice, we are asked to stand together as a congregation and corporately recite our church’s Confessions of Sins. It was during the reading, the metaphoric space between paragraphs, that God showed me what questions to pose in this blog:

Almighty and Most Merciful Father, we come before You, acknowledging our sins, our shortcomings and our breaking of our Covenant with You.

“Is it a sin to knowingly infect, transmit or put someone at risk for contraction of a sexually transmitted disease? Is it a sin to take away their choice; their agency to decide whether they are willing to risk or to definitely contract a sexually transmitted disease in this moment?  Is it a sin to not be aware of the status of your sexual health, when you have access to healthcare? Is it a sin to not be a good steward of your reproductive health? “

Not only have we done things we ought not to have done, said things we ought not to have said, left undone so many things we ought to have done and been silent when we should have been a witness for You.

“Is the thing that ought not to have been said, the lie that was told when someone asks about someone’s sexual history? Is the thing that ought not to have been done, the omission of the truth-telling before having sex with someone? Truth-telling that sounds like, ‘I need to share with you that I have…’ Is the thing that ought not to have been done, the shifting/distracting/becoming defensive/blaming and/or denying rather than admitting when confronted? Is the thing that ought not to have been done infecting someone with herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, etc.?”

Is what was left undone, the sin of being silent, not knowing our status, not responding to the cries from our bodies, that something is wrong? Is the sin of silence, the not being a witness for You, the not behaving as we ought, that our witness is not prophetic, that our witness is not gospel, that our witness is not living with integrity, that our witness is partial at best as it is left out of the bedroom?

After we recite the confession, we are asked to sit down, go into prayer and personally confess to God in silence. As part of the transition, this passage from Luke 18 is read, “He told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt. Two men went up the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner.’”

So, as I sat in my seat, I spoke back to God, “thank you for your Breath that gives me the ability to breathe. Thank you for the blood that takes away the sins of the world, including mine. Amen.”

We value your feedback, leave us a comment and invite others to read our blog.

Reverend Penny Willis, M.Div. is the director of multicultural programs for the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice. She is an ordained United Church of Christ Clergy and member of Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, IL. Reverend Penny is a certified sexual health educator. She is co-author of Faith and Healthy Sexuality and the recently revised Keeping It Real! faith-based youth sexuality curriculum for African-American youth.  You can follow Reverend Penny on twitter @reverendpwillis.

This month is National STD Awareness Month, a national health observance sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) to help break the silence and alert everyone to the growing crisis of STDs in America. Public awareness and knowledge are both critically important to combating the epidemic levels of STD infections in the U.S. and worldwide.

The Bible tells us that we are all God’s creation and workmanship.  Psalm 139 states, “that we were knitted together in our Mother’s womb, fearfully and wonderfully made.” But the Prophet Habakkuk also enlightens us with truth; telling us, “that the people shall parish for lack of knowledge.”

According to The American Social Health Association, Did you knowit has been estimated that:

• One in two Americans will contract an STD at some point in their lifetimes
• An estimated 65 million Americans are living with a viral STD
• STDs are spreading at a rate of 19 million new cases each year
• One in two sexually active persons will contract an STD by age 25
• One in four teens contract an STD each year
• Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD other than HIV
• Over 6 million Americans acquire the virus that causes genital warts each year
• An estimated one in four Americans (50 million) have genital herpes; and, about 1.6 million new infections occur each year
• More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs and their complications

This information is both staggering and alarming, particularly when we know that this can be prevented!

Last month I sat in on a forum presented by Emory University’s School of Public Health, Association of Black Public Health and the Black Student Caucus.  The panel was lined with a number of public health and theology professionals.  The gathering was rallied around the theme; “A Missionary Approach, Addressing the Black Churches Role in African American Sexual Health.” One of the questions posed to the panel was – What are the major barriers in addressing and resolving our current state of sexual health? (and I might add) in this current day of viral epidemics.  A sobering response emerged from a panelist, Dr. William Stayton, PhD and Morehouse professor of Sexuality and Religion. Dr. Stayton stated that studies revealed that one of the significant barriers was religion. Other panel participants agreed that some religious communities ignore the present day needs of their constituents as it relates to sexual health and subsequently create an unhealthy discourse for understanding our spiritual sexual humanity.

As people of faith we are often strongly connected to our faith and the faith of the beloved community. Therefore faith-based organizations can draw on their spiritual connection to people to promote HIV/STD prevention programs, reaching vulnerable populations and actively participating in the battle to eradicate the epidemic.

Communities of faith, not limited to the church, have an opportunity to play an integral and faith-filled role in supporting community-based HIV/STD prevention efforts. However, historically the record stands that too many faith-based groups have served as a passive barrier by avoiding an open, honest and faithful dialogue addressing the sexual health issues that challenge us today. Still there other barriers created by the faith community when labeling is acceptable and the contraction of HIV/STD is automatically assumed that it’s the result of risky behavior and living a life of sin. This judgmental and uncompassionate attitude towards others often nurtures shaming individuals into being shunned and rejected by the community that is called to care with mercy and justice.

The consequence therefore creates a level of guilt and disconnect in our relationships with family, friends, self, the faith community and sometimes ultimately with God. It is for this reason many of God’s people avoid engaging in their places of worship and remain hidden and obscure from the religious public view, while being separated from their strongest connection of faith “The Community”. Advocacy for HIV/STD prevention requires a major role change for many of us in the faith community.  Breaking the silence that leads to death by ignorance and awakening to the realities of the needs of our communities offering life for the living requires a champion perspective and a conquering mentality.

Our hope as a people of God is in Jesus Christ, our resurrected Lord.

Jesus said, “I have come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly” My prayer is that during this Lenten Easter Season and beyond, we shall be reminded that before each of us… stands the Lamb of God!

Rev. Antoinette D. Kemp the Georgia Consultant for the National Black Church Initiative and the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice in Washington, DC. She is an ordained minister in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). She earned an MDiv degree from Columbia Theological Seminary, and currently serves as a Corporate/Industrial Chaplain, for Cobb-Vantress, Inc. (a division of Tyson Corporation) Rev. Kemp is the Executive Director for African Pilgrimages Inc.,

The views, opinions, and perspectives expressed in by guest and consultant bloggers do not necessarily reflect the views of the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, its state affiliates, it member organizations, or the National Black Church Initiative. The Religious Coalition is committed through its National Black Church Initiative to faithfully, prayerfully breaking the silence on issues related to sex, sexuality and religion.

Rev. Penny Willis

“They overcame the enemy by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” Revelation 12:11

“Three words, eight letters, three syllables I waited my entire life to hear I…Love…You. For a guy to say these words to me and mean it, that’s all I ever wanted…so when he told me I was beautiful, when he told me that he loved me. When he pulled up Drake on his iPod and put the headphones to my ear and whispered that I was The Best He Ever Had…I got lost. I got lost in his “I Love You”…because that was all it took. One I Love You to flow. One minute before my virginity broke…for him to give it. One day for me to get it. One week for me to get tested. One year before I could accept it…One second for me to process that I had it…That I laid down hoping for love and got up with HIV instead.”

This excerpt from a play written by Yorri J. Berry and performed by a 16 year old female during a performance of the Backpack Monologues at Covenant Baptist United Church of Christ (CBUCC) on this past Saturday, is a reality for many African-American girls and women including African-American church going, Bible-believing, God-fearing African-American women and girls. I know this because I sit in places where I hear the testimonies of women and girls who have looked for love, trusted their bodies and spirits to the “I Love You’s only to end up HIV positive and/or pregnant and HIV positive.

I will never forget these stories. One was of a young woman in her twenties who shared with me that she had “done everything right” that she had waited as the “church” said to get married before having sex. It was only after going to the doctor to find out why she wasn’t feeling well when she learned that she was both pregnant and HIV positive. Another story I heard at a Balm In Gilead conference in Virginia a few years ago was that of an older female either widowed or divorced who had met a nice gentleman in the church. He was active in ministry, a “faithful Christian.” The pastor had given his “ok” affirming that this brother was a good man and she married him. One day she was cleaning up their room and noticed that the Bible he carried everywhere, all the time, had fallen and something told her to pick it up and open it. Inside she found a letter from the health department dated from some time back before they were married telling him he was HIV positive. He had known this when they got married yet neglected to share that with her. She is HIV positive.

In 2009, I invited two young people who are HIV positive, Marvelyn Brown and a young man to share their stories during the National Black Church Initiative Teen Summit on Sexuality at Howard University School of Divinity, attended by more than 200 church-raised African-American teens from around the country. For almost two hours they spoke transparently, boldly and honestly about how they contracted HIV, it’s impact on their lives and life-decisions made prior to and after contracting the disease. They shared their stories not for themselves but to help some young person in that room as a result many young people decided that day to get tested.

As we come to the end of March, a month that recognized National Women’s History, the National Week of Prayer for the Healing of AIDS, and Women and Girl’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, the Holy Spirit would not allow me to keep silent about the importance of African-American female clergy and lay women using their opportunities to share their stories for the purpose of helping another sister overcome. Sisters, we have a powerful testimony. Many of us, if we are honest with ourselves, have similar stories as the people above. We looked for love, measured our self-worth by acts of sex, trusted our hearts and our bodies to another both inside and outside the context of marriage, and ended up scarred, hurt, abused, infected and unloved. However, through the blood of the Lamb with its healing and delivering power, we have overcome. Or, at the very least, we have come to a different place; a place that transcends enough of the scars that we can claim, the lyrics of an old familiar song, “A wonderful change has come over me.”

As we anticipate the joy of Resurrection Sunday, we must remember the agony of the cross and Good Friday. We all come to the foot of the cross with something. We come to the foot of the cross in pain and in peril but it was the purpose of that same Cross that gave us new life and hope for tomorrow.  We have a responsibility to help another sister out by the sharing of our testimony. The Bible says, “we overcome by our testimony.” Telling your story can be the overcoming power for someone else. It can symbolize the “blood” that was shed so someone can experience life. Some woman or girl needs to hear your story in the midst of her pain, her situation. Your story might be the one that introduces her to the unconditional love and tender mercies of God. Your story might be the one that helps her hear another song, like, Vashawn Mitchell’s, “The Blood Still Works” and to remind her that it never loses it presence or power to heal wounds, provide purpose, administer justice, to deliver from pain and sorrow.

I can imagine many reasons why many of us do not want to tell our story: fear of what others will think, fear about the reactions from our congregations, fear of showing up on YouTube, unresolved feelings of shame and guilt, believing that we deserve blame for both the decisions made and the resulting consequences, and maybe doubt that our stories have significance.  I believe those thoughts are the work of the enemy, to steal, kill and destroy our courage, and can keep us from experiencing the power of the Spirit in us, from living our best lives and possibly from advancing the kingdom of God. We must recall and recount the works of God in our lives by sharing our testimony with others. Your testimony is someone else’s deliverance!  

As we look toward the Cross and see the women who were gathered at the foot of the cross that day, each had a testimony, each had a story to share about Jesus and the transformational power of the blood that was shed that day. Their stories continue to be told more than 2000 years later, their testimony helped to save your life and mine. Are you a woman of the Cross? Are you willing to help another sister overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the power of your testimony? Leave a comment, share your testimony.

Reverend Penny Willis, M.Div. is the director of multicultural programs for the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice. She is a ordained United Church of Christ Clergy and member of Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, IL. Reverend Penny is a certified sexual health educator. She is co-author of Faith and Healthy Sexuality and the recently revised Keeping It Real! faith-based youth sexuality curriculum for African-American youth.  You can follow Reverend Penny on twitter @reverendpwillis.